Sunday, October 25, 2009

Daniel Charms, 31 Plays, #21


Thook!

Summer, table. There is a door on the right. There is a painting on the table. There is a horse in the painting holding a gypsy in its teeth. Olga Petrovna is chopping wood. Every time she hits, her pince-nez is slipping of her nose. Evdokim Osipovich is seating in a chair, smoking.

Olga Petrovna (hits the log with an axe, however, the log doesn't split).

Evdokim Osipovich: Thook!

Olga Petrovna (Putting her pince-nez back on, hits the log again).

Evdokim Osipovich: Thook!

Olga Petrovna (Putting her pince-nez back on, hits the log again).

Evdokim Osipovich: Thook!

Olga Petrovna (Putting her pince-nez back on, hits the log again).

Evdokim Osipovich: Thook!

Olga Petrovna (Putting her pince-nez back on): Evdokim Osipovich! I beg you: don't say "thook" anymore.

Evdokim Osipovich: Alright, alright.

Olga Petrovna (hits the log with the axe)

Evdokim Osipovich: Thook!

Olga Petrovna (Putting her pince-nez back on): Evdokim Osipovich! You've promised not to say "thook" anymore!

Evdokim Osipovich: Alright, alright, Olga Petrovna. I promise not to.

Olga Petrovna (hits the log with the axe)

Evdokim Osipovich: Thook!

Olga Petrovna (Putting her pince-nez back on): This is ridiculous! An adult, elderly man, would not do a simple favor!

Evdokim Osipovich: Olga Petrovna! You can continue whatever you were doing without worry. I will not interrupt again.

Olga Petrovna: I beg you, please, let me at least chop this log!

Evdokim Osipovich: Of course, of course, keep on chopping.

Olga Petrovna (hits the log with the axe)

Evdokim Osipovich: Thook!

Olga Petrovna drops the axe, opens up her mouth, but can not say a single word. Evdokim Osipovich gets off the chair, looks at Olga Petrovna from head to toes and leaves slowly. Olga Petrovna stands still with her mouth open and looks at Evdokim Osipovich leaving.

Curtains slowly descend.

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