Daniel Charms, 31 Plays, #25

The Hunters

Six men went hunting, but only four came back home... Uh-huh...

Two didn't come back home... Uh-huh...

Oknov, Kozlov, Struchkov and Motilkov successfully came back home, but Shirokov and Kablukov died while hunting.

Oknov was upset about this for a whole day and didn't speak to anyone. Kozlov was following Oknov everywhere and annoyed Oknov with all sorts of questions, which made him rather furious.

Kozlov: Would you like a cigarette?
Oknov: No.

Kozlov: Would you like me to get you anything?
Oknov: No.

Kozlov: Would you like me to tell you something funny?
Oknov: No.

Kozlov: Would you like a drink at least? I have tea with cognac right here.
Oknov: Although I already hit you in the head with this rock, I will rip your leg off as well.

Struchkov and Motilkov: What are you doing? What are you doing?

Kozlov: Help me get up.

Motilkov: Don't worry, the wound will heal.

Kozlov: And where is Oknov?

Oknov (While ripping Kozlov's leg off): I am right here, not too far!

Kozlov: Oh my God! Help me!

Struchkov and Motilkov: It looks like he ripped his leg off!

Oknov: Ripped it off and threw it right there!

Struchkov: This is rather vicious!

Oknov: Whaaaat?

Struchkov: ...cious...

Oknov: Whaaaat?

Struchkov: N...n...n...nothing.

Kozlov: How am I going to walk home now?

Motilkov: Don't worry, we'll attach a little wooden something.

Struchkov: Can you stand on one leg?

Kozlov: Sure, but I don't feel very comfortable.

Struchkov: It's alright, we'll support you.

Oknov: Let me go to him!

Struchkov: No, no, no...You better leave.

Oknov: No, I said let me go!... Let me... This... This is just what I wanted to do.

Struchkov and Motilkov: This is terrifying!

Oknov: Ha-ha-ha!

Motilkov: Where is Kozlov?

Struchkov: He crawled into the bushes.

Motilkov: Kozlov, are you in there?

Kozlov: Shhhhh!...

Motilkov: Look how he's changed!

Struchkov: What should we do with him?

Motilkov: It is nothing we can do. I think we should just strangle him. Kozlov! Hey Kozlov? Can you hear me?

Kozlov: I can, but very badly.

Motilkov: You shouldn't worry, dear. We'll strangle you right away. Just wait a second!.. Just... Just... Like this...

Struchkov: A little bit more here! Like this! That's right! And a little bit more... Now, all done!

Motilkov: All done!

Oknov: God bless!