The Old Woman - VII
I walked out onto the street. I made it to the streetcar successfully, changing hands ever so often.
I got into the streetcar at the first door of the last car, and waved to the ticket lady to get her to come over and take money for my ticket and luggage. I didn't want to hand over my only money - the thirty rubles bill - via the whole car and couldn't leave the suitcase unattended and go up to her myself. She eventually came over to me and said she had no change. I had no other alternative but to get off at the next stop.
I stood angrily, waiting for the next streetcar. My stomach hurt and my legs were shaking.
Suddenly I saw the same pretty young lady I met earlier today: she crossed the street looking in the other direction.
I grabbed hold of the suitcase and rushed after her. I didn't know her name so I couldn't call to her. The suitcase was an awful impediment; I held it in front of me with my both hands, pushing it with my knees and stomach. The pretty young lady walked quite fast and I didn't think I would catch up with her. I was covered with sweat and completely exhausted, when the pretty young lady turned into a side street. When I reached the corner, she was nowhere in sight.
"The hell with you, old woman!" I hissed, dropping the suitcase onto the pavement.
The sleeves of my coat were soaked in sweat. I sat down on the suitcase, took out my handkerchief to wipe off my neck and face. Two boys stopped in front of me and started staring at me. I managed to recompose myself and was intensely looking at a nearby building entrance as if I was waiting for someone. The boys whispered at each other pointing at me with their fingers. I was furious. If I could only strike them with tetanus!
And just because of those blasted little boys, I stand up, pick up my suitcase, walk into the nearby building and look inside.
"How strange," I say loudly, pick up my suitcase and drag it off to the streetcar stop.
I got to the train station at five to seven. I buy a round trip to Fox's Nose and get into the train.
There are two other people beside me: one of them looks like a worker; he is tired, sleeping with his hat down over his eyes. The other, a young man dressed in the stile of a country dandy: he wears a pink sweater under his coat, and curly hair comes out from under his hat. He smokes a cigarette through a bright green plastic cigarette holder.
I put down the suitcase between the benches and sit down. Sharp cramps in my stomach make me squeeze my fists hard so as not to scream from the pain.
I see two policemen on the platform, dragging some guy to the police station. He walks with his hands behind his back; his head lying on his chest.
The train is moving. I look at my watch: ten after seven.
Oh, how ecstatic I will be when dumping this old woman into the swamps! Too bad I didn't take a stick with me; I'll have to push her out the suitcase with my bare hands.
The dandy in pink sweater is staring at me obnoxiously. I turn my back to him and look out of the window.
There is a terrible skirmish in my stomach; but I clench my teeth, squeeze my fists and tense up my legs.
We pass Lanskaya and New Village. There is the gold tip of the Buddhist pagoda and there is the sea.
Suddenly, I jump up forgetting everything around me, and rush to the bathroom taking small steps. A powerful wave of nausea is swinging and spinning my consciousness...
The train slows down. We approach Lahta. I sit tight, afraid I'll get kicked out of the bathroom at the stop.
"Please move along! Please move along!"
The train moves off and I close my eyes with pleasure. Oh, sometimes these minutes are just as pleasant as when in love! My powers are weakened, and I know a terrible decline will follow.
The train stops again, at Olgino. This torture again! But this time around, the pain is a false alarm. My forehead is drenched in cold sweat and chills fly around my heart. I stand up for some time leaning my head against the wall. The train moves off again and the movement is alleviating my pain.
I gather all my powers and leave the bathroom walking unsteadily.
There is no one in the car. The worker and the country dandy in the pink sweater must've got off at Lahta or Olgino. I slowly approach the window by my seat. Suddenly, I stop and look inside dumbfounded. The suitcase is nowhere in sight. I must've walked to the wrong window. I jump to the next window. No suitcase. I jump back and forth, and run the whole car both directions, look under the benches, but can't find the suitcase anywhere.
Of course, how can I be wrong? Certainly, whilst I've been in the bathroom, my suitcase has been stolen. I could have foreseen this!
I sit on the bench with my eyes wide open, and for some odd reason I remember how the enamel cracked on the hot frying pan, back at Sakerdon Michailovich's place.
"What's happened to me?" I ask myself. "Who is ever going to believe I didn't kill the old woman? I'll be seized today, right here or in the city, on the train station - just like that man who was walking on the platform with his head lowered."
I go out to the corridor at the end of the carriage. The train is approaching Fox' Nose. Now it stops. But the steps of my carriage don't reach the ground so I have to jump down, and walk over to the waiting room. There is half an hour until the next train back to the city.
I walk to a forest nearby. There are juniper bushes here; once I am behind them, no one will be able to see me. I walk towards the bushes.
I see a large green caterpillar crawling over the ground. I kneel down and touch it with my fingers. It twists, shrinks violently several times, pleating itself in one direction, and in the other.
I look around me. There is no one that can see me. Light shivers run down my spine.
I lower my head and whisper softly:
"In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Ghost, now and hereafter and for ever more. Amen..."
....................................................................................................
On this note, I end my writing in the belief that it has dragged on quite enough already.
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